Things one must do when you miss your Ex – Being loved by someone gives you the ultimate strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage. Break up is heartbreaking, and the course of getting over from a painful breakup is very crucial, and its intensity differs from person to person. Let us help you with a few tips on how to get out and make you focus on yourself when you feel empty and lost. The feeling is intense, and it needs to be cushioned with clarity, time, space, and perspective.
A psychological survey study on the students of Case Western reserve university has found that 90% of the students both men and women have reported to have faced rejection from the person who they were still in love with, while 90% of people said that they had ditched their partner.
You could not stop missing your ex when you had a great relationship with the kind of person whom you had desired to share the major part of your life with. The feeling of missing them would stay with us until we remember the old memories. Whatever may be the reason for your breakup, its time to come out of it, heal yourself, and take care of your health and life.
We can make things a little better and look into the below which would help you to come out of it sooner than it would normally take. During this phase of life, we may need to stay along with our friends, family, or find something which involves your passion or interest.
Few Tips to Help You with When You Miss Your Ex:
Do Not Contact Them 30 days:
The first and foremost thing to do is cut off all the contacts that you have with your ex. Leave and stay away from them at least for a month so that you can recollect and have time to evaluate whether the decision that you are taking is correct or not. Our mind has the greatest ability to evaluate and guide us in the correct path when we provide the right amount of time for the thinking.
Stay away from all the mutual contacts that you have in common between both of you. Being with them would make you remember the times and memories that you had with your ex in the past few years. Staying away from your ex and their friends would help you to move on with your life as it is destined to be. Stay away from social media and other online communities instead of concentrate on a specific hobby that you are interested in.
Divert Your Attention:
Most people divert their attention towards their personal growth and involve themselves in taking an off from their routine schedule and start reading books, travel or join a gym and mould themselves both physically and mentally. The journey is an excellent medicine for all the pain in your life. Meet new people, new cultures, and you will realize that the world is much better than what we have heard about so far. Strive to improve yourself, and obviously, you will find out something new in your life. Try to keep yourself busy always, whenever your mind goes through the thoughts, pick up some activity that would distract yourself.
Meditation is a great thing too. Meditation provides a clear mind and helps you take a more positive and logical approach to the problem.
Friend’s Help Comes by The Bay:
Spend time with friends who had nothing to do with your previous relationship, you would need people around as a support system to get you as the best person who you were. Put away all the souvenirs and the gifts that have been gifted to you, keeping them with you day in and day out would rejuvenate the old thoughts.
Keep trying with all of the steps that you might feel working as they would be worth doing when you look back in the future. The reason for the break up might be of various and thinking about you being the reason for it to be blamed or to doubt in yourself. If you still miss your partner, it may mean that you cannot process the current situation. Concentrating on building up yourself and distracting from the partner should be the only goal at the point of time.
Get Professional Help if Needed:
Do not ever choose to add drugs to your life. This will not help you permanently forget your ex-partner. It is just like you adding slow poison to your blood. Also, suicidal thoughts are common after a breakup, depending on the intensity of your relationship. However, suicide is not a solution to any problem. If you may have a tough time overcoming the breakup, you should consider taking up advice from the professionals who would provide counselling and help you healthily process the feelings.
Everything in Life Happens for a Purpose/Reason:
Life always has a large variety of lessons that needed to be experienced by everyone. As we can see, while break-ups can be emotionally devastating, they are not the end of the world; the day when you will stop missing your ex- boyfriend/girlfriend is in sight. You need to shift the way you look at things and take an active role in self-recovery.
Change Your Routine:
It is best to change your daily routine, maybe at least change your method once a week. Go to a music class or a painting class. Consider a photography course to see the world from a different perspective. Work hard at the office.
Write a letter:
We would recommend you to write a note with all the positive and negative thoughts going through your mind. Add anything that you want to convey to your Ex — once done, burn the letter to cut the cord between the two of you.
Get into spiritual practices to help you ease the pain. Go to religious destinations or meditation centre to clear and settle your mind. Reading spiritual books gives you a good understanding of life and the reason for this birth.
Make New Friends:
While your current friends can help you with your break up to some extent, try making some new friends who will significantly help in diverting your mind for good.
It Takes Time:
Life is to be enjoyed. Notice the silly little events that give you happiness and don’t always expect big games to come to lead a happy life. It is recommended not to start a brand new relationship as soon as you breakup. It does take some period to move out of the current feelings. The fact is missing your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend will not get her back. Do not force yourself to get rid of the thoughts of your boyfriend or girlfriend. Let the ideas flow, and over time, you will be used to it.
Read books on great people, biographies, and autobiographies. Also, read books on achieving financial and career success. There are some highly recommended books like “The power of positive thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, etc.
Studies say that the break up gives a stimulation in the brain similar to the physical pain generated in the body. However, the brain of the person after break up has shown to vigorously get them to feel better. In short, our brains seem to be built for recovery and help with wise and mature decision making as well as obsession.
To get over the pain, we would recommend you recreate a big red “STOP” sign in your mind to help you feel better whenever you are thinking of your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. Think about all the bad things that your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend has done to you. Try to remember the time when he or she behaved like a jerk. Exercising regularly will help your brain release Dopamine and lets you stay energetic and away from depression.
It is also better to go for a hiking, Yoga class or join a community of your favourite sports. Instead of repeating the thoughts of missing your ex, try to view from the objective point of view. Ask yourself, what have you learned from your break up? What did you learn from this relationship that will help you build a better relationship in the future? What did you do in this relationship that you will never want to do again? When you get answers to these question you will become much aware of the relationship in whole and turn into a wiser and better person.
Set new goals and follow your passion. You will now have a lot of time to focus on your career and passion. Find a therapist if you are in real need of help. They will be in a better position to help you with your mental pain. Finally ask yourself, why you need to put yourself under emotional torture when there is a lot to do in this world.