Reasons A Relationship Won’t Work, Even If Your Feelings Are Real – No matter how our favorite love stories try to make us believe that love is enough, sadly, only love isn’t enough for a successful life long relationship. A romantic relationship can sometimes turn into a riddle and two people have to work together to solve this complicated riddle. A strong relationship is the result of the equal efforts two people make to live with each other. Some couples miserably fail in creating the perfect balance due to their own vivid reasons.
In the beginning, every relationship seems amazing as its still blossoming and couples get immersed in the charm of the relationship. However, when it comes to initiating a long term relation, it is important to be practical and give it a thought.
It is possible that a relation that seemed marvelous in the beginning can turn unbearable after a while and if you don’t want this to happen to you, here are some signs you need to check out. These are the red flags or the signs of a bad relationship that might not work despite of the presence of love!
Both of you Have Different Future Plans and Want Different Things in Life
Gone are the days when a woman used to leave her entire life behind and move forward with her husband / spouse. Nowadays, the future plans can have a deeper impact on any relationship. If both of you have different future plans regarding getting married, having children, shifting to a new place, choosing a career etc then it’s going to be difficult. These are the most important aspects of anyone’s life and you can simply not change what people want from their future and life.
Also if one of the partners is ready to compromise with their plans and needs for the other one, it is possible that he/she might not remain happy with the compromised decision for a long period and this might become a reason for fights.
You Guys have Trust Issues and are Unable to Overcome Them
If one of you or both are struggling with trust issues, it’s simply not possible to work it out for life long. Trust is the prime basis of any relationship and to be in love, you need to have trust on your partner. If your partner or you are continuously suspicious, having a hard time in trusting your partner and are insecure about the faithfulness of your partner, it is complicated and one day, it will create a big issue.
Trust is the driving force in any relationship and if you are not able to develop a strong and hopeful relation with your spouse, you will continuously live in fear and insecurities. Trust issues can poison a relationship and if you are unable to build it with your partner, give it another thought.
You Often Keep Wondering if He/ She’s the One
Now that you are happy in a relationship and are thinking about moving further, you should not be unsure about the fact that he/she is the one. If you find yourself continuously wondering if he/she is the one, it’s a sign that you are not completely satisfied with the person you are dating and you know internally that something is wrong.
Everyone has imagined of an ideal partner and when you don’t get a desirable partner, these thoughts would strike you all the time and you’ll remain unsure if you want to get along with him/her. This is a clear sign that you have to prevent yourself from rushing!
You are in a Long Term Relationship and it isn’t Working Well Already
Long distance relationships are very hard to handle. If you have enjoyed a blissful relationship with your spouse and are now having a hard time just because you are away, it is a sign that you are unable to build a mature and settled relation with your partner.
Sometimes, a couple has to go through this phase when one of the partners has to shift for educational or job or any other purposes to a different place. If your relationship can’t pass this test of the long distance relationship, it’s possible that you won’t be able to handle it.
You Guys Lack Physical Intimacy or your Relation is Just Based on Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy and sexual attraction exist when two people are with each other. If you are in a relationship which is only defined by this intimacy, you need to understand that a long term relationship requires a lot more than physical intimacy. A strong sense of friendship, togetherness and a romantic bond is required.
On the other hand, if your relationship has come to a stage where there is no physical attraction and intimacy, when you are sharing the home or bed just like good friends, you guys are missing the spark and that without this spark, nothing will work. You need a proper balance of lust, chemistry, compatibility and attraction to drive a relation.
There Exists Some Irrational Jealousy in your Relationship
Nothing is as poisonous as jealousy in a relationship. Jealousy can tear a relationship and when partners are jealous of each other in terms of occupation, success, profession, or romantic jealousy. Though a little jealousy is normal but when your partner becomes aggressive due to this jealousy and you often fight because of it, then it’s not normal.
Sometimes jealousy is occasional and it makes the couple not take each other for granted. Sometimes a little jealousy can help couples appreciate each other but when partners start having unrealistic expectations from each other, hold a poor self image, feel the fear of being abandoned or left alone, feel insecure and start developing the desire to control each other, it ruins a relationship.
Your Partner Abuses you Every Now and Then
If you think that these days’ abusive relationships are tolerated, it’s wrong. No man or woman can tolerate abusive behavior for long time. Even for the sake of a relationship, it should not be tolerated. This abuse includes verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse and much more that can turn your relationship into a mess.
If your partner seems to abuse you emotionally or physically; if he verbally abuses you every now and then, don’t stick to it as the person is never going to change and it can turn worst. The prime need for any person to stick to a relationship is respect and love and these things cannot survive with abuse.
Your Relationship Lacks Mutual Respect and Admiration
As described above, every relationship works and blossoms when there exists mutual respect. When two people respect the decisions, thoughts, values and needs of each other, it becomes easy to drive a relationship. However, if both of you or even one of you are lacking this respect and value for the other, the relationship isn’t going to survive.
After all, life is a tough challenge and you need a supportive and respectful partner who can be with you through thick and thin. If a person is unable to provide you with the basic respect and care, he will surely not be able to survive the test of time and you will always be unsatisfied with the relationship no matter how much you love him/her!
You are Losing Yourself In the Relationship
In the beginning of the relationship, you might compromise and let go of several things for the sake of happiness of your partner but this won’t work on the long run. Your partner becomes an obsession for you and you are always in the fear of losing him. This makes you compromise and lose yourself.
If you often keep quite to maintain peace, if you change your decisions and opinions to agree with your partner, if you are sacrificing your wishes for your partner, if their problems are bugging you all the time and if you are compromising your career and plans for your partner, this is a sign that you are losing yourself in the relationship. You need to understand that a person who truly loves you, won’t let you change and will try to create a balance instead.
Your Relationship is Suffering Due to Communication Issues
Having important conversations with your partner will only do good to your relationship because communication can help the partners solve misunderstandings, express feelings and improve the relationship in all forms.
If your partner doesn’t want to communicate, keeps avoiding your texts, withdraws during an argument, doesn’t speak to you till weeks, speaks only at his/her convenience, doesn’t talk openly about problems, interrupts you and doesn’t listen to you while talking, gets aggressive and defensive during arguments etc, it is a sign that your relationship is drowning. Especially when your partner gives you a silent treatment for days just because of small issues and rely with one word answers, it’s annoying. If this continues for a long run, you both are not satisfied with the relationship and you need to rethink about it.